What You Need
by daseyshipper
Summary: [Life with Derek] Derek needs to bring his grades up, Casey needs to play hockey. But in the end, of course, what they really need is each other.
1. Heated Exchange

Hey, this is my first LWD fanfiction, so I'm trying to keep them in character while eventually getting to some good Dasey stuff. Please suspend some major disbelief on the sports stuff; I know almost nothing about hockey or when season start and end, but I needed it this way for story purposes. And Casey does NOT have crush on Sam, for the same reason (and also because I don't really like Sam, anyway). So, R&R if you choose, thanks!

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Chapter 1

"Sports?"

Casey sat in the academic counselor's office going over her resume for college applications. It hadn't occurred to her that something might be lacking in her high school achievements.

"Casey, a lot of schools, and especially the type of school you'd be looking to get into, are looking for well-rounded students. They want to know that you can be good at both academics or athletics, or at least that you tried to diversify your interests. It might be a good idea for you to look into joining one of the teams."

"But I'm not good at any of that, I've spent my life studying to get the GPA I needed for a good college. What am I supposed to do?" Casey cried in horror.

"Look, Casey," the counselor said softly, "It's not mandatory. It's just a suggestion for your resume. But there are a lot of intramural teams here at school, volleyball or softball, maybe. You could see the sports director.." The counselor trailed off, seeing that Casey was playing out the demise of her future in her head. She let her leave the office, telling her again that it was just something to be considered. But for Casey, that was enough. If there was even the slightest chance she would be passed over by her top choice universities, then something had to be done.

----

"Report card?"

Derek swung back from the banister, stopped in his attempt to escape upstairs.

"Yes, Derek, your report card. They were supposed to be distributed today," George repeated, eying his son suspiciously.

"Oh, right, well… you see, something happened, with the, uh… printer. The printer ..it mistook all the A's for D's, so they can't really distribute anything until they figure out…"

George glared at him.

"I was just trying to lighten things up, sue me," Derek muttered, reluctantly taking the report card out from his backpack.

"I may just do that," George muttered quietly, scanning the paper in his hands. He dropped his arm down in frustration and looked at his son, who couldn't meet his eyes. "Derek, really, I'm tired of this. 3 D's, 2 C-'s, and … ah, a B… in gym." George paused. "How did you get a B in gym?"

"There was an incident with a towel," Derek said slowly, his eyes looking further away. Trying to end the conversation, he quickly followed with, "Maybeafewincidents, but listen, Dad, I've been really…"

"No excuses, Derek. I better not see any D's on the next one. I don't know how many times I have to have this conversation with you, but now you have to start applying to colleges soon, and you don't have that much time to bring your grades up and show them some improvement and maturity."

Derek sighed and took the report card back. He knew his father was right, and Derek did actually care about where he went to university. "Alright," he gave in, "if you need me, I'll be upstairs doing … homework," he finished disdainfully.

----

Casey spoke to the sports director after school, but soon discovered the man was out of his mind.

"I'm NOT playing hockey."

"Ms. McDonald, I'm not making you do anything. But as I've already explained, most of the teams are in the middle of their season or just ending, even the intramurals. The only things available in the near future are women's hockey tryouts next month for intramural and competitive, and a few open spots on the cheer-" Casey killed the rest of the word with a contemptuous glare. The sports director cleared his throat. "Anyway, that's what I have. Our sports curriculum is fairly limited, I'm sorry."

Casey, feeling defeated, thanked him for his help and started home.

------

That evening at dinner, Derek and Casey were both particularly miserable, pushing food around their plates. They didn't even have a reason to fight with each other. Finally, Derek pushed his plate away and stood up.

"Where are you off to?" asked Nora.

"Just going out with some of the guys, maybe have a game or something," he said, putting his plate in the sink and heading for his hockey gear.

"Don't you think you have something else to be doing?" George asked him pointedly. "You know, I think you spend a little too much time playing hockey."

"But Dad, come on…"

"And maybe a little too much time driving the car too…"

Derek tossed his stick back against the wall. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his father. "So that's how this is going to be, eh?"

"Not if you get upstairs and do your schoolwork, it won't. But right now, I want to see an effort being made to bring your grades up before anything else." Derek stormed up the stairs angrily and the rest of the family heard the door slam closed.

Casey dropped her fork in frustration. "You know, I should be so lucky to have DEREK's problems! All he has to do is read some books, I have to figure out how to become some kind of athlete before I send my applications out for university. This society places way too much emphasis on physical accomplishment and not nearly enough on…" She noticed that Edwin and Lizzie had feigned falling asleep, Marti was trying to teach her pet stuffed monkey how to hold a fork, and George and Nora were looking at each other. "Hello?" she asked annoyed.

Nora looked back at her and smiled. "Sweetie, no one's forcing you to.."

"I have to! There is no way I'm going to let them reject me because of some stupid sport. I'll just have to figure this out," Casey decided, determined.

"Well, I know a hockey stick that might be free soon," George joked. Edwin gave a little guffaw of "yeah, right." There it was again, hockey. She couldn't get away from it. It was following her around, torturing her, like….

_Derek_, she thought with an evil grin.

----

Casey knocked angrily on Derek's door and then burst through. Derek was lying face up on his bed, beating his hands lightly on his bare chest along to angry, sulky music playing on his headphones (so George and Nora wouldn't hear). A book lay across his thighs, open to some irrelevant page. Casey's breath and words caught in her throat at the sight of him, but it was not something she let herself acknowledge consciously.

Derek shot up when he heard someone, grabbing the book. Then he looked up and saw it was Casey. "What are you doing here? This is all your fault, you know. My father never cared so much about my grades until you showed up, Little Miss 4-point-0." Casey smiled proudly in response, almost devilishly.

"Derek Venturi, I have a business proposition for you," she said, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. Derek hesitated, admiring her stance for a moment.

"Continue."

"Alright," she got excited and threw herself on the foot of his bed, sitting Indian-style across from him. "You need to bring your grades up, but you still want to be able to go out and play hockey, right?"

"Yeah…" Derek leaned back on his hands, sensing that he might actually like this proposition, and raised an eyebrow in return. For a second, he thought he caught Casey shooting the quickest glance at his chest.

"And I need to get on the intramural hockey team, but would still rather spend my time keeping my GPA up."

Derek caught another quick glance and decided to tease her a little bit. "You know, Casey… an arrangement like that would mean us," he leaned in closer to her, "spending a lot of time together." Casey smirked, a Derek smirk.

"And _you know_, Derek," placing a hand on his chest to push him back, "that you will never be motivated enough to do this by yourself. And then neither of us will be playing hockey."

Derek enjoyed the feeling of Casey's warm hand touching him, her eyes staring slyly into his. It took him a moment to come back to reality and realize that she was right. His hockey AND driving privileges were at stake here, and he still couldn't do much beside sulk and curse at the situation.

"Casey McDonald," he put a hand over hers, just to torment her and keep it there, "you've got a deal."

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Ok can someone PLEASE tell me how to put actual break lines. I've tried extra spaces in the paragraphs, lines in the document and the edit, a few stars in between on the document and the edit, " br>" in html mode, and Shift+Enter in simple mode, and it just won't work.


	2. Anything You Can Do

You guys are awesome, thanks so much for the great reviews! Honestly, they did inspire me to refine the direction, I had been thinking a little randomly, and now I think I'm about set. It is very bad to start a story without seriously thinking about story arc. :) Alright, here's Chapter 2, I hope you enjoy, I actually went and did some research  
on hockey basics for this, and I might even start getting into it, lol! Turns out I was WAY off in my thinking of when the season started to, but I already gave you that disclaimer in Chapter 1. Speaking of disclaimers, I obviously do not own Life with Derek or any of its characters. If I owned Michael Seater, I would not be writing fanfiction. Enjoy! Yes, I made a line break!

* * *

Chapter 2 

Casey and Derek told their parents about the arrangement they had come up with, to explain why Derek would still be going out to play hockey and Casey would be helping him out with work. George and Nora could hardly believe their children were being so mature and starting to get along, but they liked it.

The next day was a Saturday, and Derek and Casey headed out to the practice ice where Derek and his friends usually had games. Derek was suited up in a Canucks jersey and had lent Casey some of his extra pads. She hadn't put her hair up yet and he stared at her for a moment as she swung her hair to one side to lean down and put on her skates. _This might not be so bad after all_, Derek thought. _I mean, there are worse things than close contact with a hot girl, getting ourselves all worked up…_ Derek let his thoughts trail off. He had been thinking a little too much about Casey lately, ever since he'd met his match during their contest for house space. He wondered if she questioned why he hadn't put up too much of a fight about helping her. It was like a magnetic pull he couldn't resist, some insane part of him that wanted to be near her, watch her move, touch her skin, while every other part of him screamed the word "stepsister!" Derek shook his head, chalking it up to the lack of new prospects at school, the excuse he had taken to using.

Casey glanced up at him, seeing his eyes cast to the side in deep thought. The pensive look on his face was adorable, she thought, even cuter than when he had the chicken pox and had been so nice to her. Truth be told, as against cheerleading as she was, she was more than willing to pick hockey as a sport, and was grateful it worked out that way. Somewhere deep down, she knew that she had wanted to spend this time with Derek, that she had been coming up with little excuses here and there to spend more time with him, even fight with him more, just to experience the life that ran through her when she was with him. She fought this with every fiber of her being, tried to bury the feelings. But when this opportunity had come up, she had rationalized her desire to have this arrangement with Derek, had completely dismissed the idea that it was anything other than a mutual case of needing the other. _There was no other way_, she'd told herself firmly.

_Besides_, they thought at the same time, _nothing will ever happen._

Snapping out of his thoughts, Derek grabbed his stick and helped Casey up. She picked up the other stick they'd brought and followed him out to the ice.

"Okay," Derek began, "so we went over the basic rules in the car, and now we're just going to practice some shooting and passing. Think you can handle that, Case?"

"Anything you can do," she smiled, "I can do better."

"I'll keep that in mind," Derek smirked. He knew what he'd be thinking about in his cold shower later.

Derek played goalie while Casey shot the puck toward the net, learning how to aim. Some of her shots were wild and Derek had to dive out of the way. "Jeez, Casey, try not to take my head off, would you? This face is priceless!" Derek shouted.

Casey rolled her eyes and tried again, but the shot was still too hard and uncoordinated. Derek sighed and took off his gloves, skating towards her. "Here, Case, like this."

Derek stood behind her and placed a hand over hers on the hockey stick. Casey stiffened, feeling the warm sweat of his palm over hers, imagining the same masculine touch over her whole body. It was a thought that came effortlessly, just a feeling sweeping through her in an instant.

"You don't have to be so angry at this point. You just need to relax … focus…" He breathed the words slowly near her ear, sending a wisp of hair to tickle her face, his soft voice calming the tension and disappointment she had been feeling when her shots didn't make the net. She wouldn't turn to look at him; she wouldn't bring her face that close to his. _Back away from me, Derek. Don't let me think for a second that these feelings aren't wrong._

Derek guided her to a different angle of the puck and instructed her. "Just a medium amount of force, it's better to keep it short of the net where an attacker can get it than to overshoot, or hit the bars and give the defense time to recoup. Just ease up. I'm not there anymore, there's nothing worth hitting but the net," he joked.

Casey smiled. Derek moved his hand off the stick to let her shoot and she suddenly felt cold. She moved the stick back and took the shot as he had instructed her to. Her eyes widened in amazement when the puck actually went in.

"Oh my God, Derek, that was amazing, I actually scored a goal!" She jumped up and down quickly, a huge grin on her face and turned to him. He took in the sight of her excitement, her incredible smile, and had to smile back. She caught him up suddenly in a hug that stunned him in its sincerity. He shoved the thoughts away that he knew were coming. _Don't make me feel this way, Casey. Not when I know you'll never think these things about me._

"Alright, alright Gretzky, it was one shot with nobody blocking you and no goalie, let's not get carried away. And don't forget who needed to assist you." Derek said, breaking the hug.

Casey kept a small smile on her face. "We'll see who's assisting who when we get back home and you can't understand why math has letters in it." She skated away to retrieve the puck.

Derek stood in place. "Letters?" he mouthed to himself.


	3. Fool for You

Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed, I'm glad people are enjoying the story! I worked on it all day because I won't have as much time this week, and I know I get impatient for updates on other people's stuff :) So, it looks like this will end up being 6 or 7 chapters, and this is the angsty thought-filled chapter. It might be a little too heavy-handed but I wanted to show Casey repeatedly analyzing the situation, as I think Casey would do. Also, there are two uses of profanity, and I do not own Heather Nova's "Fool for You." Ok, hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Chapter 3 

The rest of the afternoon went well. It took Casey a little while to get the hang of shooting and passing the puck, but Derek had to admit that when she wanted to do something, she was as determined as he was. And when she learned something, she made sure it was perfect. Derek thought sadly that he had never found a girl who could get so fired up about things, so completely dedicated and passionate. Most of the girls he dated were easy catches, dumb and cute; they went where he wanted to go, did what he wanted to do, and spent the next week waiting in giggling anticipation of when he would deign to speak to them again. Casey never waited for him, never gave into him, and always called him on his bullshit. He loved it.

_But I don't love Casey, _he thought. _I can't, that is just a lot more trouble than it's worth._ Even as he thought the words, he wasn't sure he quite believed them. If a girl like Casey wasn't worth throwing his life into complete chaos, what was? But he knew he couldn't think that way, and he told himself that it didn't matter how he felt because Casey only saw him as an annoying stepbrother who she needed to help her for awhile. Anyway, Derek Venturi does Not fall in love, especially not with girls as smart and serious as Casey McDonald, he reminded himself. _And Casey McDonald doesn't fall in love with screw-ups like me. _The feelings would go away, he told himself for the hundredth time. They had to.

When they got home, Casey jumped in the shower, playing the radio while she scrubbed her hair. A song by Heather Nova had come on that sometimes made her secretly, shamefully, think of Derek:

_You came into my life, I don't think that you meant to  
You were standing in a doorway I was trying to walk through  
Like an angel or the devil, I could never quite say  
It doesn't matter anyway_

_Cuz, oh, I'm a fool for you  
I'm a fool for you  
Open my heart and let the wind blow through  
Cuz I'm a fool for you_

_Well you can tell me anything and honey, I'll believe  
Cuz when you keep me hanging it only feeds the dream  
I'm never going to reach you - you're a distant shore  
But you've still got me coming back for more_

She shook the thoughts away for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. She was being a masochist, she berated herself. Why did she think this would be a good idea, all it did was bring her further and further into this realm of thought that she was supposed to be escaping, but she couldn't help it. She needed to be near him, she needed to look for every little sign that Derek thought of her only as a prissy goody-two-shoes who could help him keep his car. She was nothing like the girls Derek usually went out with, and he would never want her. She wasn't experienced like they were, she didn't walk around looking hot in Babe Raider outfits all the time, and in all fairness, she was nowhere near as popular as Derek. _And Derek¸ _she thought, _is nothing like who I pictured myself with. He's not sweet or sensitive, he doesn't even pick his towel up off the floor! Even though he was really helpful today … Ah, this is ridiculous! _She scrubbed herself harder, trying to wash it all away._ He's Derek, the guy who drives me crazy every day, the guy who makes fun of everything I do! Derek - my stepbrother._ _Talk about trouble._ She really was acting like a fool, even entertaining these thoughts.

Later, after Derek resisted for a few minutes, trying to watch TV instead, Casey got him to sit down with her and his algebra homework. This was mainly accomplished by Casey standing with her arms crossed in front of the television and refusing to move. She explained algebraic equations and how to solve for "x" and was surprised to see how quickly Derek picked up on everything. Derek was surprised too, seeing how entranced he was with her leaning so close to him over the book, and how he could smell the soft strawberry scent of her shampoo.

"Derek, you're really good at this stuff," she said proudly, looking at him with slight wonder. "What's the problem?"

"I don't know, I guess I'm just never really motivated to do it. This is probably the third time I've even looked at this textbook." He saw Casey's face fall a little and realized how much he'd liked seeing her proud of him. It made him feel like he was worthy of her for a moment.

"Besides," he cleared his throat, "it's a lot nicer watching you explain things than Mrs. Retchnik," he said, referring to his aesthetically-impaired math teacher,

Casey blushed in spite of herself. "Well, that's not saying much, but thanks. Really, Derek, you're doing great. You see what happens when you –"

Derek cut her off, "Please, Case, please don't use the words 'apply yourself.' I may have to be sick if you do."

Casey laughed. Derek smiled, enjoying the light musical sound of her laughter, so different from the ingratiating giggling of the girls he had dated. He loved when he could make her laugh, as opposed to when his jokes just made her angry. Actually, come to think of it, he kind of liked being the cause of both. He liked stirring her emotions, seeing her reactions to him, imagining what would happen the day he decided to tell her…

_Tell her what? _He stopped himself. _Don't even finish that sentence, because that day will never come. We have to live together, and I'm not giving up my rule of the house by walking around being rejected and mocked._

Casey was flipping through the textbook, moving on to another topic he would have to review for the next exam. "Ok, now _quadratic _equations are when…"

"Actually, Case, how about we break for tonight?" he interrupted. "I mean, it's Saturday night and my homework for Monday is done. We have some time to review." He looked at her hopefully.

"But Derek, this is only math, we still have other…"

"C'mon, Casey, it's only been a day, we have tons of time." He saw Casey hesitate. She was thinking that he must have a date, and she didn't want to have to give him up now to watch him make out with some Barbie doll. This had been one of the best days she'd spent in awhile, and it frightened her how she didn't want it to end. "Please?" Derek asked again, pushing out his bottom lip to give her a puppy-dog face.

Casey smiled again and Derek's eyes shone. "Why, do you have somewhere you need to be?" she asked cautiously, averting her eyes and pretending to arrange the pencils on the table so he wouldn't see that she cared.

"Actually," Derek drew in a breath, both willing the words to come out and at the same time trying painfully to hold them back, "I was thinking we could go get a burger or something. I didn't have any plans tonight." That wasn't entirely true; he had actually called Sam to cancel their movie plans while Casey was in the shower. Derek hadn't really felt like seeing his best friend, knowing he'd have to talk about what was going on with him and Casey. Something in him didn't want to explain it to Sam, it was almost like a little secret pleasure he wanted to keep to himself. He didn't want to have to be "cool Derek" tonight and pretend he hated spending time with his stepsister. He wished it were true.

There were a million thoughts scattered around Casey's mind. Would he ditch her at the burger place as soon as he saw his friends or a cute girl? Would he ignore her and say, "Oh, this is just Casey, my uptight stepsister"? Did she really want to watch girls fawn all over him? It was enough that she had to see Emily do it all the time. Would this all be over once he got what he wanted, just like all the other times? Shouldn't she just stay away? Shouldn't she just stay in and read and remind herself about all the problems this would cause, how much it would hurt her when she started falling deeper in --

"Sounds great," she heard herself say. _Damn it._


	4. The Little Things We Hide

Glad you guys are still enjoying the story! This chapter is how the way they interact with each other is kind of changing, but also how they are still confused about how the other feels. There is one covert use of profanity in the song lyrics. I do not own "Something I Can Never Have" by Nine Inch Nails, nor Life with Derek and its characters. Anyway, this chapter is a little lacking in the action, but I promise you'll love the next one (hint, hint) :)

* * *

Chapter 4 

Casey and Derek walked into the burger place, both wary of who they would see and how this one-on-one social interaction would play out. It was one thing when they were occupied with hockey or schoolwork, but now they would have to just talk. About .. what? Casey almost felt like she was on a first date, struggling to impress.

In a rare concession of power, Casey let Derek order for the both of them at the counter and watched him slide into the booth across from her. They both looked around nervously, waving hi to some friends they saw, but neither calling anyone over to join them. Their conversation was infrequent, mostly pointing out who was here with whom, and flipping through songs on a jukebox catalog that was placed at one end of the table.

"Ooh, Sarah MacLachlan…" Casey said quietly, looking over the list. Derek snorted. "Is there a problem?" Casey asked, feigning annoyance.

"I am NOT listening to any depressing chick music, especially not when there is a perfectly good selection of A Perfect Circle on here," he said, waving a finger at her to make the point and swinging the catalog closer to himself.

"You can't be serious, that stuff is completely unintelligible! How can you listen to anything that just screams the same lyrics over and over?" she said, scrunching her nose.

"Because, Case," he sighed dramatically, "it's not about lyrics, it's about energy. You can't chill out and dance to any of the chicks that you listen to, it's got no beat! Like this," he said, indicating the Nine Inch Nails song that was playing, "you can totally rock out to this!" he said, banging on the table like drums. Casey scoffed and watched him, getting into his "playing" along to the music. He was so cute when he was excited, mouthing the angry words to himself. He looked towards the counter and nodded at the man who put out their plates, keeping his head banging as he got up and retrieved their food. Casey smiled in spite of herself.

They got their plates and Derek immediately started digging into his burger, with the same awful manners he used at home. Casey rolled her eyes, "Ew, that's disgusting!" Derek looked up, blushing slightly. He noticed that she wasn't completely embarrassed or angry about it like she usually was; instead she had a little laughter in her eyes as she looked back down at her food, the hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth. She cut her burger in half before she started to eat it, and Derek smirked.

"Oh, they forgot to give me a pickle, I wanted one…" Casey looked up and saw Derek move his hand back quickly. She looked him up and down and saw the twinkle of mischief in his eye. "What?" she asked cautiously.

"What?" he repeated innocently, widening his eyes. She watched him through narrowed eyes for another minute and then slowly looked back down at her food. The second she saw his hand move, she picked up a French fry and two of them flew through the air simultaneously. They both laughed.

Derek sighed, "Ah, you know me too well, Case." She was so great, he loved that he had this rivalry with her, loved how she challenged him in so many different ways. He knew that he was being childish, reverting to kindergarten methods of showing a girl he liked her, but it was because he didn't really want to let his feelings out. He could rationalize this kind of stuff away as just annoying brother behavior. _Stepbrother_, he corrected himself mentally, and hated that it was important to him.

They continued to eat in comfortable silence until the song changed and Derek muttered, "Someone must really like Nine Inch Nails." He kept his eyes down, recognizing a song that he had listened to a few times .. too many times.. when he was thinking about Casey.

_I still recall the taste of your tears  
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears  
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore  
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore_

_You make this all go away  
You make this all go away  
I'm down to just one thing  
I'm starting to scare myself  
You make this all go away  
You make it all go away  
I just want something  
I just want something I can never have_

_You always were the one to show me how  
Back then I couldn't do things that I can do now  
This thing is slowly taking me apart  
Grey would be the color if I had a heart_

_Come on tell me  
You make this all go away  
You make this all go away  
I'm down to just one thing  
I'm starting to scare myself  
You make this all go away  
You make it all go away  
I just want something  
I just want something I can never have_

_In this place it seems like such a shame  
Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same  
Everywhere I look you're all I see  
Just a fading fking reminder of who I used to be_

_Come on tell me  
You make this all go away  
You make this all go away  
I'm down to just one thing  
I'm starting to scare myself  
You make this all go away  
You make this all go away  
I just want something  
I just want something I can never have  
I just want something I can never have_

Casey cleared her throat uncomfortably. "I may have underestimated those lyrics," she said quietly, avoiding his tortured glance. They both quickly changed the subject.

A few minutes later, while Casey was trying to understand the hockey offsides rules Derek was explaining to her, Sam walked in. Spotting his best friend, Sam made his way over to the table. "Hey man, what's up?"

Derek paused a moment, holding his breath before he returned the greeting, pounding Sam's fist with his. "Sammy, how you doin', man?"

"I thought you had to stay in and work?" Sam looked over at Casey, "Derek said you were working him to death with this tutoring stuff, I'm glad to see you cut him a break."

Derek saw Casey's face change slightly and thought for a moment that she was hurt. Her face expressed the emotion for only a second before she pursed her lips into a tight line. "Yeah, well, I wasn't about to jump into quadratics with someone who still counts on his fingers."

This time Derek was offended and a look of painful shock ran across his face. He tried to hide it by looking down and taking another bite of his burger. He chewed angrily while Sam headed off to find the other friends he'd come to meet. She had told him before how well he was doing! Why did she say something so completely untrue just to be mean? He guessed it had bothered her more than he thought that he had to complain to Sam to get out of his plans with his friend. But didn't it mean anything that he cancelled them to be with her?

That's exactly what Casey couldn't figure out. _Why would Derek say those things about me and then want to come here with me on a Saturday night? I will never understand him! He must be up to something, but what? Why did I ever think … _she stopped herself, refusing to let all this confusion get to her in front of Derek.

"Case?" he ventured. "Why did you say that?"

Casey stopped, surprised that he had actually been that hurt by her comment. "Well, why did you say THAT?" she retorted, annoyed.

"I just .. I didn't feel like going out tonight." Then he muttered, "I'm sorry."

Casey smiled in shock. "What was that?" she asked with a teasing note in her voice.

"I didn't say anything, I have NO idea what you're talking about!" Derek answered with a smirk, gesturing dramatically.

Casey smiled. After a moment, she looked at him earnestly and spoke. "You're really smart, Derek, I hope you know that. Forget what I said, okay? It wasn't true." Derek tried to break the awkward moment by making a grand gesture of placing his hand over his heart to show he was touched, and made a show of giving her the pickle off his plate, which made Casey laugh.

While out loud she teased him about giving up his food, Casey internally repeated the denials to herself as she had been. _Don't be nice to me, Derek. Don't make me think you're something other than the selfish popular guy I love to hate. Tell me you actually meant what you said._

Derek's mind raced inside as they bantered back and forth. _I'm not good enough for you, Casey, don't make me think I am. Don't look at me like you're proud of me, don't make me want to be better for you._

_I don't want to want you_, they both thought.


	5. Sprung from My Only Hate

Hey, thanks again for the reviews! So THIS is the big chapter, and I hope you enjoy all the Dasey action. If you don't like their reactions, please remember these are two type-A people who want to be in control, especially over what they're feeling and what happens to them. I just don't think it's realistic for them to just get over all their insecurities, although this being a short story, it will happen relatively quickly :) Next chapter will be some good drama (I hope). Also, please suspend some more disbelief about what Casey has learned in 2 weeks - let's say they can only go on the weekends. For humor's sake. Oh, one use of profanity.

Side note on Michael Seater: If anyone from the US has seen Strange Days at Blake Holsey High, somehow, some way, can you please tell me how you got it? Thanks! Also, has anyone checked out the slideshow on Ashley Leggat's Myspace with him in the big glasses? Cute and amusing.

* * *

Chapter 5 

Another two weeks passed with Casey and Derek continuing to help each other learn their new skills. Derek had found another perk to the arrangement: now he didn't have to give up the remote control when a hockey game was on. "It's part of your learning experience, Case!" he had told her triumphantly when she had tried to switch to _Friends._ She had narrowed her eyes, shaking her head with a face that said _I'll get you for this when it's all over. _ Derek enjoyed every second of it.

Casey had actually taken to the game, and she was getting better. She got the puck past him about half the time ("What? I don't play goalie!" he'd responded to her overly-satisfied grin.) And Derek had gotten an "A" on his last biology quiz. Of course, he'd had to spend 5 minutes convincing the teacher that he hadn't copied off someone, but the entire family was proud of him. It felt nice.

It was Sunday, and the following day was a school holiday. Casey and Derek had suited up and were out on the ice again. "So what are we working on today?" Casey asked, skating around in little circles.

An evil look appeared behind Derek's eyes. "Checking," he replied casually.

"Checking?"

"Here, catch," he said, passing the puck to her. She stopped it with her stick, and the next thing she knew she was on her ass and Derek had shot the puck straight into the net. "What the..! DEREK!"

"THAT'S checking." Casey sat on the ice, rubbing her side. "Aw, come on, I didn't get you that hard. It can be pretty brutal out there competing for one tiny little puck! You gotta learn, Case!" Amused, Derek skated out to the net to get the puck. A second later, he was face to face with it. He turned his head and looked over his shoulder at a triumphant Casey.

"And what have _you_ learned, Derek?"

He smiled painfully. "That we can skip the lesson on charging?"

------------------

They spent a few hours on the ice, learning how to play more of an actual game instead of just letting Casey have easy shots and passes. Casey played goalie for a little bit, too. As sore as she was, Casey was loving it. She was always up for a new challenge; the harder the better. She loved putting her sweat into whatever she was working on, outdoing herself.

And Derek loved watching her. The graceful way she skated across the ice, contrasted with the aggressive pride she took in improving her game – he had never met another woman like her. She was everything he could ever need. Beautiful, smart, funny, sweet, passionate, fiery … _And family_, he thought regretfully.

After they had washed up and had dinner, Derek told her he had a report coming up in English, and asked if they could work on it.

"What book is it on?"

Derek hesitated nervously. "Romeo and Juliet."

Casey paused for a moment. "Well, that shouldn't be too hard, anyway." She looked up and smiled brightly to hide the fear in her eyes. _Great, spending hours talking about forbidden love with Derek in his bedroom. Oh yeah, shouldn't be too hard, _she thought bitterly.

She went into her room to grab a pen and notebook in case she needed them. The phone rang while she was in there, and she picked up the cordless lying on her bed. It was a girl for Derek. A scowl on her face, she walked to Derek's room and tossed the phone at him angrily.

He was incredibly confused. "Hello?" he said into the phone. It was a girl named Michelle from school that Derek had gone out with a few weeks ago asking him if he was going to some party that night.

Casey listened outside the door, biting her lip. She heard Derek say, "Nah, my parents are still getting on my case about this school stuff. I'm semi-grounded for a while." There was a pause. "No, next weekend's not good either. If I get out at all, I need to spend some time with the guys and all… Yeah… Uh-huh… Yep, bye." She heard Derek click the phone off and let out a huge breath. Casey was stunned. Now that she thought about it, Derek hadn't seen any girls in the past two weeks. She cautiously approached the open doorway.

"So what was that?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

"Oh, just some party tonight, I don't really feel like seeing anyone. I'm exhausted from all this hockey and studying." Casey knew it wasn't true, but she didn't understand why he kept lying about plans and going out. The past weekends he'd pretty much just stayed in watching movies with her or helping her babysit.

Derek wasn't sure why either. Sam had asked him a couple of times what was up, and his other friends were getting suspicious about him dropping out of the social scene. One even threatened that his reputation was at stake, so Derek had made a quick appearance at a pizza place with his group of friends Friday night before complaining of a sports injury and going home. He'd been pissed when he came home and found that Casey had gone to the mall with Emily and cursed himself the rest of the night for how stupid he was being. But if he went to a party tonight, he didn't want Michelle to be the girl he took there.

"Well, we can always finish this up early if you want to go to the party," Casey offered.

"Maybe, but I already asked you to help me with this, so let's just see what happens."

"Okay." Casey grabbed the copy of _Romeo & Juliet_ that Derek had taken from his bag. It was brand new.

"Derek, have you started to read this at all?"

Derek groaned inwardly. He was still working on being motivated when Casey wasn't around. He was really trying, but who thought of having all these subjects to keep up with at the same time, anyway! Derek knew he was overreacting, but he was definitely still getting used to all this studying, as enjoyable as it was to spend the time with Casey.

"What's to read?" he waved it off. "We all know what happens. Boy meets forbidden girl, boy bonks forbidden girl, and everyone dies because of it." He paused. "Do you think I can say 'bonks' in my report?"

"Real nice, Derek. There's a lot more to it than that," Casey explained, exasperated.

"Well, that's what you're here for! Teach me!" he said dramatically, leaning back against his bed's headboard.

"Nooo, I'm here to help you AFTER you've read the book on your own. You'll like it, it's one of my favorites."

"Why's that?"

"Like I said, it's about so much more than that. It's about meeting that one person that you know you need and overcoming all obstacles to be with them. And that if you can't overcome them, then it's no use to be without them." Casey got swept up in her own thoughts and spoke earnestly. "It's about loving something you should hate, and not knowing anything about why or how, except that nothing else has ever made as much sense as this does. You'd go through anything for it, even though you wish you didn't want to, because it would be so much easier." Casey looked down, trying to hold back her emotion. She didn't fully understand why this was all pouring out of her now, but she was realizing how exhausting it had been keeping it all inside. In a soft, worn-out voice, she finished, "It's about giving up all the comfort and safety you've ever had, and throwing yourself completely into the unknown, because," she sighed, "nothing else matters." She looked up to see a stunned Derek, a thousand emotions crossing his face. He was looking at her like he was so scared of something…

"I should go before I write the report for you," she said, trying to hide her eyes. She jumped off the bed quickly and headed for the door, mistaking the reason for his nervousness.

In the next split-second, it all raced through Derek's mind, and it was like a sudden storm inside him. _I need her. Nothing else matters._

"Casey, wait!" He shot up off the bed and grabbed her arm, turning her back to face him. With his other hand, in the same motion, he pushed the bedroom door closed. A chill ran up and down her at the sound of it and she felt butterflies in her stomach.

"Derek…" She tried to force her eyes away but could only keep them locked onto his, searching his dark intense stare, so deep it almost scared her.

"Tell me not to do it, Casey." He couldn't believe he was saying this. He'd finally voiced it out loud, he'd let his feelings be known, and there was no turning back. He braced himself.

She looked at him with a quiet shock and whispered, "Tell me you don't want to."

The silky reply of her voice, her breath against his lips - he lost it. He could barely register what was happening before her name escaped from him - "Casey!" The sound was forced from his lips just before they came down onto hers violently. Her entire body was on fire in an instant; everywhere his hands ran over her burned. Derek could barely restrain the moans that wanted to escape in reaction to the reality of her body against his, the relief of finally having her in his arms, and the torment his mind knew would greet him when it was all over.

Casey opened her mouth to him and he could barely find the strength to stay standing. She was melting against him, her arms grasping at his neck and hair to keep herself in the moment, afraid it was all going to be a dream when she let go. She felt his hard body pushing against her soft skin and ran her hands underneath his shirt down his muscular back, enjoying the contrast to herself of everything about him. Derek took in a quick sharp breath when he felt her nails softly graze the skin of his back and he squeezed her more tightly against his body before burying a hand in her long, soft hair. A few seconds later, Casey was barely able to stand the amount of excitement and desire coursing through her, and she pulled away roughly to catch her breath.

They stared at each other for a moment in amazement, both catching their breath. Casey was the first to come crashing down. "Oh my God…" She paced back and forth having no idea what to do with herself. "Oh God.. Oh…God." She whipped around and flung the door open, running to her room. Derek couldn't move.

He felt absolutely humiliated. This was something he couldn't handle. He didn't know what Casey was thinking. He didn't even know what he was thinking. All he knew was that kiss felt amazing, and then Casey had run from him, and he had no idea what to do next. _I'm not ready for this, I don't even know what this is. But Casey sure as hell doesn't want it. _

Feeling the sting of Casey's rejection, Derek melted back into the bravado of his public façade. Throwing on his jacket, he ran downstairs to let Nora and George know that he was done studying for the night and was heading out. Before they could ask too many questions, he swaggered out the door and slammed it shut hard.


	6. I Surrender

Alright, I got sappy and idealistic at the end, but hey, it's fanfiction. I also used 3 songs in this chapter, and I tried to keep them down to a verse and chorus. I usually don't like songfics, but I found there were so many I wanted to use, and anyway, they're at a party. So I don't own, "I Don't Wanna Fall In Love" by She Wants Revenge, "Surrender" by Laura Pausini, or "All I Need" by Heather Nova. Nor do I own Life with Derek or anyone even remotely comparable to the cuteness of Michael Seater. Oh, I made a Dasey Shipper icon that I'm going to try to turn into a myspace icon, but I have no idea where to upload it, I guess it has to be on a site. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story, this is the last chapter and epilogue. :Sniff: Maybe I'll write another soon.

Warnings and notes on circumstances: Two uses of profanity. Everyone is a year or two older than on the show since they're applying for college, so if Lizzie sounds too wise or you don't like Derek drinking. And Derek can handle his liquor. And Marti was already asleep.

* * *

Chapter 6 

Casey heard the door shut downstairs and clutched her pillow tighter against her chest. She was so confused about what had just happened. I mean, she had been fighting it so long, romanticizing it, fantasizing it, but now … she had finally done it. And all the reality came like a cloud over her. What would their parents think? What would the kids at school think? Was she just another game to Derek, just another challenge that he'd get tired of once he won? Could she really see herself in an actual relationship with someone she was so completely different from?

There was a soft knock on the door, and Casey wiped frantically at her tears. "Who is it?" she asked anxiously.

"It's Lizzie." Her little sister cautiously opened the door and poked her head through the small opening. "Is everything okay?"

Casey couldn't help it, she broke down in tears once again, and Lizzie rushed to her side. "Casey?" she asked, worried.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Casey sobbed out. "For the first time in my life, I have absolutely no idea what's right."

"Can you tell me what it is?"

"It's just .. a boy. And I'm not supposed to be with him." Casey looked away, running a hand across her tear-stained cheeks. "And I don't know if I can do this. It's just so hard. This is so not how this was supposed to go."

Lizzie smiled softly. She was a smart girl, and she knew what was going on. This was her sister, after all, and she knew her better than anyone. "Sometimes things don't go the way we plan, but it doesn't mean it's wrong. I mean, just look at our family. Would you rather Mom still be fighting with Dad every day, or would you rather have this great family, chaos and all?"

Casey laughed even as she felt a pain in the pit of her stomach thinking about her "family." "Lizzie …" she looked at her sister, and Lizzie's knowing look stared back at her. "You already know, don't you?" she said softly, more of a statement than a question.

"All we want is for you to be happy, whatever that means." Casey's eyes shot up at the new voice speaking to her. In her doorway stood her mother, George, and Edwin.

"Mom!" Casey jumped off the bed, throwing the pillow off of her.

"Casey, it's okay. George and I, well, we've been talking about this for a while. Once you and Derek started getting closer, we kind of knew for sure that we'd need to be prepared if this happened, as opposed to just," Nora shifted uncomfortably and looked at George, "joking about it happening." Casey blushed.

"Casey, we know this is not going to be easy. This is a lot for us to take in, and we're all going to need to talk, after you and Derek really think this through." George stopped and his voice softened. "But we've never seen Derek happier in his life than in these past few weeks he's been spending with you." George looked down at Edwin, who nodded in agreement. Casey looked at him with a small smile of wonder and hope. "We don't want to tell you that it's all going to be great," he warned, "but we don't want you to have to give up your own happiness just because you got thrown into a family together at 15. We've appreciated the support you kids gave us and have given us during a difficult transition, and we want to give you at least the opportunity to work it out together."

Casey could not believe what she was hearing. They'd all known, all along …_ You'd go through anything for it, _she remembered herself saying. _Giving up every comfort and safety you've ever known._

She had stood there absorbing it all for a minute, when Edwin cut through the silence, saying, "Well, c'mon, go to the party and get him!" Edwin rolled his eyes, wondering why he and Lizzie always knew better than their older siblings, and walked away before everything could get emotional again.

Casey ran to hug her mom and George, grabbed her jacket, and rushed out the door. George and Nora looked at each other and sighed, hoping they'd done the right thing.

-------

Derek had walked angrily to the party. It wasn't very far and he wanted to get drunk. Walking in, the collar of his leather jacket up and a smug look on his face, he was once again Derek Venturi, life of the party and master of all. He greeted some of his friends, smiled at some girls, and headed toward the kitchen.

He was vaguely aware of someone pouring out a shot for him, he didn't know of what. He was running on autopilot, but his mind was a complete fog. He wasn't consciously thinking about Casey … he wasn't really thinking at all. He just felt pain and confusion without any words attached to it, except the background music. He brought the drink to his lips and noted dimly that it was vodka. He hated vodka.

_I would like to tell you, I would like to say  
That I knew that this would happen  
That things would go this way  
But I cannot deceive you, this was never planned  
I know that you're the right girl but do you think that I am the right man?  
_

_1...2...3...4,5,6,7,  
Right face wrong time, she's sweet  
But I don't wanna fall in love  
Too late, so deep, better run cause  
But I don't wanna fall in love  
Can't sleep, can't eat, can't think straight  
I don't wanna …_

The ominous sound of the music pounded against his head. He half-heartedly listened to some girl who was twirling her hair and talking next to him. He let someone pour him another shot, letting the liquid burn his throat. He brought his head back down and looked straight through the doorway at Casey, who had just entered the house.

She caught his eye from across the crowd, and his mind cleared. Everything in the periphery faded away as he watched her shoulders fall with relief that he was here, that she'd found him. They communicated for a moment with just their looks – Casey's eyes questioned him with concern, Derek's eyes were heavy with weariness and he shook his head slowly, sadly. She started toward him. Derek met her in the middle. They made their way to an empty room of the house.

Derek paced, his head down, one hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"Are you drunk?" Casey asked.

"No. I wish I were. Why are you here, Casey?" His voice was deep and heavy.

Casey bit her lip nervously. "I needed to talk to you. I just wanted to explain –"

"Explain what?" he cut her off. "Why you ran away from me? I already know why, Casey. And I was an idiot to kiss you. You don't owe me anything, Case. Don't come here trying to let me down easy, because I don't want to hear it. I'm not good enough for you, I knew it before, and I still know it. Don't come here and fucking remind me."

Casey was shaking her head violently. "No, Derek, you're wrong! I left because I was scared –"

"Scared? Scared? Casey, I am terrified! I put everything on the line to kiss you – my friends, my reputation, OUR family! I swallowed all of my fear because you mean so much to me, you're worth giving it all up. And it meant nothing to you! So tell me, why were YOU scared, Casey?" Derek shouted.

"Because I have never been in love before!"

Derek stared at her, his eyes wide with disbelief. Casey continued, calmer. "I love you, Derek. You are my stepbrother, and you are everything I have never been, and you do all these things that I absolutely hate, and it's scary and it's terrible and it's not at all what I expected, but I am completely in love with you, and for some reason …" She smiled, breathing through her rambling, "For some reason, I think it's all worth it. Whatever we have to go through, whatever we have to do, it will all be worth it because I need you. I need us."

Derek continued to stare at her, not moving.

"Derek? Derek, could you please say something?"

He looked up at her, a flash in his eyes, almost like he was seeing her for the first time. He walked over and took her hand, dragging her out of the room, into the middle of the party. The music and crowd swirled around them.

_I can´t pretend anymore  
That I am not affected, I´m not moved  
I can´t lie to myself that I´m not always thinking of you  
You make me strong  
You show me I´m not weak to fall in love  
When I thought I´d never need, now I can´t get enough_

_I always made it on my own  
I always thought that I would keep control  
You changed everything I believe in  
And now I just can´t fight this feeling baby_

"Hey, listen up!" Derek yelled. Everyone turned to look at him. "For anyone who doesn't know, this is Casey McDonald. For anyone who doesn't know, she is my stepsister. And for anyone who doesn't know," he stopped and turned to her, "I am completely in love with her." He smiled down at her, before turning back with a sweeping glare, "And if anyone has a problem with that, they can keep it to themselves, because we don't care."

Casey was bright red and wore a beaming smile. "You always have to top me, don't you?" Casey said, poking him in the chest.

Derek smirked. "Come on, you didn't expect that to change, did you?"

Casey raised an eyebrow suggestively. "This is going to be fun," she whispered.

Derek leaned down and kissed her sweetly, smiling against her lips. The crowd cheered, some because they were drunk, some because people were making out, and some because they were friends. There hadn't been anyone who didn't know.

_I surrender_

* * *

Epilogue

Derek laid the blanket out on the sand, and Casey placed the picnic basket and wine down onto it. In a few weeks, they would be going off to university. Derek would be attending a small middle-tier school he had gotten into with his improved grades, and Casey would be attending a larger, top-tier school that was 15 minutes away from Derek. Derek was going to study Math, and Casey would be getting a degree in English Literature.

They ate and drank happily, as happy as they had been for the past 16 months. Casey had ended high school as the captain of the intramural women's hockey team, and Derek of the competitive men's team. They cheered each other on at every game.

The radio played soft music as Derek laid face-up on the blanket, Casey curled in his arms. She was looking at the sky, a hand touching him lightly on the chest. One of Casey's "chick songs" came on and Derek rolled his eyes, but kept it on. Casey laughed.

_Can we love each other  
And respect each other  
Find some joy together  
'Cause that's all I need, oh, all I need  
That's all I need, oh, all I need_

_I don't want your money or all your time  
Just a heart that's beating with mine  
'Cause that's all I need, oh, all I need  
That's all I need, oh, all I need_

_And when you've got the world on your shoulders  
You'll see, I'll be there for you  
Like you'll be there for me  
That's all I need_

"Derek," she said, pretending to swoon, "tell me I'm all you need."

She felt something being slipped over her finger and smiled. Derek bent down to kiss the top of her head and whispered, "You … and Babe Raider 2."

She punched him playfully in the stomach. "Ow, Casey, that ring hurts!" Casey squealed as he flipped over on top of her and tickled her sides. "Say yes! Say it!" Casey laughed and screamed, "Yes!" He let her go.

She sat up catching her breath, and looked at him. "I'm so going to kick your ass in Babe Raider 2," she managed to squeak out before he threw her down onto the blanket again.


End file.
